The one about assisted marriages

The process of getting married needs assistance in most cases - whether you know your future spouse, or not - why I think it is so smart to call it "assisted marriage", instead of arranged marriage. 

It was a few years back, that a brother was seeking a spouse - and we assisted.  Let's call him Brother A.  We asked around, talked to families, and received a few responses.  However, after meeting one family after another, there was always something that the sister (or the family) was not content with.  He did not have the right credentials (whatever that means).  He did not have the correct "origin".  He could not speak Swedish.  He is not the correct height (Nothing I can do there then, he said).  There was a very close marriage, and last minute the sister after agreeing changed her mind (and after 2 months passed, changed her mind again and asked if Brother A would re-consider her).  And after all this, the sisters forget the fact that while they are making their selection, brothers too have a say in who approaches them.  For example, there was once we approached a brother for a sister, and he said that for him to be able to live with someone he needs to have faith that she can live with him.  He did not feel that she would reciprocate his feelings.  So he said no to her family.

I took 2 of the rejections for Brother A quite personally because I thought that their reasons for not considering him were superficial.  They spoke to us as if he was not of high enough standing for them.  As if he was not worthy of them.  There is a way to say "no" to a marriage proposal.  And you do it at the earliest instance, and before it gets to the next stage, and the next.  Definitely not after giving the brother so much hope. Nevertheless, Brother A remains one of the most polite and respectful person I could ever give my word for.

It was quite recent that we had some brothers over at our home - Brother A being one of them.  And when it was time for prayers, the brothers stood in position, and me from my position we prayed in congregation.  When the imam began the prayers, I was completely mesmerised with his recitation.  The imam's recitation was so beautiful, so present, he could easily compete with some big names, believe me.  The imam's recitation stayed with me the whole of the next day, and that night, I remembered this beautiful recitation and immediately asked Akif, "Who was it that lead the prayers last night?"  

Akif immediately said, "Brother A."

I was stunned, "Wow!  Just wow..."

Akif echoed me, "I know, right?"

After a few seconds of soaking this in, it was then that I realised - those proposals did not work out NOT because Brother A was not worthy of those two sisters.  But actually it was those two sisters who were not worthy of HIM!

How Allah protected him from those who do not deserve him.  And for that, ameen.