VårRuset 2022

In 2019 I sat together with my chiropractor and physiotherapist to set a goal. I told them I would like to enter a race. It doesn't matter what race, it has to be something challenging for me (at that time) and achievable. While they did not really say no, they did not discourage me. They said that I should start very slowly (their idea of starting slowly was walking for 3 minutes a day).  My chiropractor would pop my hip back in each time it "came out.  The past 3 years was both fun and tough, and numerous times when I thought I would reach my goal had me going back to zero - walking for 3 minutes only.

I thought this year would be that year. However a minor surgery in the middle of Ramadan had me back on the no-list. The past week I pleaded and pleaded with my doctors until they said yes - with 2 conditions 1) I would have to run with a bandaged hand. 2) "Manage your pain" my doctor said. I also informed the organisers of my situation and they were really helpful in informing me of their 911-procedures.

I walked into my chiropractor's office in 2019 dragging one foot. And after a few months, I was limping, and later was told I'll need a cane in 5 years  Today, I can run.

After a very exciting evening I reminded myself to answer 3 questions -

What have I learnt today?

Mindset and determination sets the pace for all endeavors. If you believe you can do this much then you shall achieve "this" much. And if you believe you can do THAT much, you shall achieve "THAT" much.

What can you learn from this experience?

Move your goal post - preferably further. There is nothing wrong with moving your goal post as long as you know where to aim.

How can you learn more from this?

Every day presents itself as a new learning experience. Do not underestimate the power of consistency and progress. Progress shows development, which leads to a whole new different you. You will like the "new you". Trust me.

  

 

^-^ 

 

Post-surgery reflections - Day 33

 We are nearing the end of Wk5 of my CT surgery.

As always, with each passing day I attempt a new movement to test my hand to see if I am ready for some old movements.  Today it was the sujud.  For the past 5 weeks I have not been able to perform the prostation as I know it: to place both palms and my forehead to the ground. With only one hand, in the beginning I had to hold my bandaged hand to my chest. Even after the stitches were removed. And the sujud had to be as short as possible so that I do not fall flat on my face. I lost the sweetness of experiencing the sujud.

Around 4 weeks post-surgery, I noticed I could do a pretty decent sujud when I used only the fingers of my stitched hand. From that day onwards I would test my palm while doing my sujud to see if it still hurt.  It still did. But using my fingers is better than using only one hand.

Some things I always had to monitor -

• My food and nutrition, as I was not allowed to do much exercises

• My movements, one wrong movement would mean back to the drawing board

• My weight, more weight means more load on  my knees and the one good hand

Today is that day! Today is THE day when I could do a proper sujud. Both palms on the ground. Forehead on the ground. Holding that position for as long as I wished to. God, how good that felt! After 33 days.

But I am still not able to use my palm to get up from a sujud position.  And that is my next goal.

^-^

Site visit 2021 - Day 0

Assalamualaikum friends,

I am writing to a few selected friends to share something exciting (at least for me, it is!)

InshaAllah, for the next 2 weeks, I shall be in Turkey and Bosnia for work.  I shall be travelling with the US team in 3 cities: Istanbul, Gaziantep, Sarajevo to visit partners, projects and refugee camps.  Many of you might be aware that I am attached to Muslim Aid Sweden.  The Muslim Aid family is a charity and relief aid organisation.  We are found in at least 11 countries and work with partners worldwide.  However, in Sweden and in the US, we are fundraising offices.  We help everyone around the world, and yes, you might know Cherin Awad and Kajs Atallah who travel to deliver aid.  Behind the scenes are legal requirements, quality control, partnership creation, accountability and mitigation, etc.  For example, if a contractor builds a well, and someone falls into the well - what happens to the person, the family, the beneficiaries, the contractor, and the project.  If a refugee comes to us and says she has been a victim of rape at the refugee camp, we need to know how to signpost her to the proper help, IF that help is available.  So these will be the main activities of my trip.

I am usually better a solo traveller, and I nearly was not able to travel due to my health situation.  But for this trip, I requested the presence of someone who can assist me while travelling.  After searching high and low for a travel companion, I thought - Who better than 18%-Dr. Akif Rahman!  Alhamdulillah, Allah makes everything easy.  And He will make the difficulty easy, if He pleases.

I request for your sincerest du'as to make my trip easy, that I meet people who are kind and sincere, and that what we do can contribute to the building and rebuilding of the ummah!

BR, The Immigrant Mom

The one about life. And death.

It was early in the morning and I could barely open my eyes.  7:30 a.m. had Bear nudging and asking me – “What time do you have to go to the hospital for the washing?”  Me with my eyes still closed, answered, “8:30 a.m.”

“You just helped birth a baby last night.  And now you will go wash two bodies.  What a contrast your life is!”

I replied him, “You know, I was just thinking the exact same thing.”

Without delay, I got up, showered and arrived at the hospital morgue well ahead of time.  The thing that made this day extraordinary was that just a few hours before, I had just helped deliver a new life.

The previous evening I was suddenly called by a family friend to assist the wife who was already having labour pains.  It was around 8:30 p.m. when I arrived at the hospital entrance.  There was a small crowd of 10 in front of the entrance, but no one was allowed in due to the COVID regulations.  When I saw the nurse about to close the entrance door, my hand shot up and I shouted – “Room 6!”  She re-opened the door for me and said, “Quickly, they are waiting for you!”  When I entered the room, I changed into the necessary attire and joined the 3 midwives.  Labour had just started.

But it would not be until half-past-midnight that we welcomed a healthy baby girl!  All celebrations aside, and if you have never witnessed a live birth before, the last hour was extremely intense.  The suspense, the frustration, the pushing, the helplessness – multiple emotions – all enveloping this wonderful moment when a daughter of Eve was born into the world.  From those 4 hours, one moment will forever stay imprinted in my memory – that is the moment that the baby’s head was finally received.   At that very second, you will experience the ultimate sacrifice that a mother makes in order to bring her offspring into the world.  The pain is unimaginable, indescribable.  Her patience – beyond admirable!  It can take a few minutes, it can take a few hours.  For some, it might even take a few days.  And a mother goes through this with only one knowledge – sacrifice.  For her child.

Once the mother was stitched up and cleaned, the midwife requested me to cut the umbilical cord that connected mother and child for so many months before this.  And when that was done, the mother has no physical ties to her child.  I helped the mother move and settle in her room.  And when that was done, I left the hospital.  It was 3 a.m. when I arrived home.

After a few hours, I was at another hospital.  The morgue to be exact.  And in the morning I washed not one, but two deceased.  The total time both washings took was 4 hours.  With the memory of a newborn still fresh in my mind, I was then sucked into another reality.  Preparing the deceased for burial is a very humbling experience.  It is not only about performing a ritual, it is about preserving the dignity of the deceased.  The amount of love and care that is required is equal to what you would have in receiving a newborn, only that the deceased will be sent to another home, another world, where she shall meet her Creator.  And another connection is severed.  

Indeed it was such a contrast to be in both worlds.  It felt like standing in the House of Mirrors – where from whichever angle you look you will see a past, and a future.  And both sights feed each other to form a continuous circle of existence.  Such is life.  We know when it starts and ends, but truly – does it start and end for any of us?  Or do we just move from one reality to another – as described in the Qur’an?

The one about assisted marriages

The process of getting married needs assistance in most cases - whether you know your future spouse, or not - why I think it is so smart to call it "assisted marriage", instead of arranged marriage. 

It was a few years back, that a brother was seeking a spouse - and we assisted.  Let's call him Brother A.  We asked around, talked to families, and received a few responses.  However, after meeting one family after another, there was always something that the sister (or the family) was not content with.  He did not have the right credentials (whatever that means).  He did not have the correct "origin".  He could not speak Swedish.  He is not the correct height (Nothing I can do there then, he said).  There was a very close marriage, and last minute the sister after agreeing changed her mind (and after 2 months passed, changed her mind again and asked if Brother A would re-consider her).  And after all this, the sisters forget the fact that while they are making their selection, brothers too have a say in who approaches them.  For example, there was once we approached a brother for a sister, and he said that for him to be able to live with someone he needs to have faith that she can live with him.  He did not feel that she would reciprocate his feelings.  So he said no to her family.

I took 2 of the rejections for Brother A quite personally because I thought that their reasons for not considering him were superficial.  They spoke to us as if he was not of high enough standing for them.  As if he was not worthy of them.  There is a way to say "no" to a marriage proposal.  And you do it at the earliest instance, and before it gets to the next stage, and the next.  Definitely not after giving the brother so much hope. Nevertheless, Brother A remains one of the most polite and respectful person I could ever give my word for.

It was quite recent that we had some brothers over at our home - Brother A being one of them.  And when it was time for prayers, the brothers stood in position, and me from my position we prayed in congregation.  When the imam began the prayers, I was completely mesmerised with his recitation.  The imam's recitation was so beautiful, so present, he could easily compete with some big names, believe me.  The imam's recitation stayed with me the whole of the next day, and that night, I remembered this beautiful recitation and immediately asked Akif, "Who was it that lead the prayers last night?"  

Akif immediately said, "Brother A."

I was stunned, "Wow!  Just wow..."

Akif echoed me, "I know, right?"

After a few seconds of soaking this in, it was then that I realised - those proposals did not work out NOT because Brother A was not worthy of those two sisters.  But actually it was those two sisters who were not worthy of HIM!

How Allah protected him from those who do not deserve him.  And for that, ameen.